Best Practices for Parents Adopting a Foster Child

While talking with some folks about post-adoption services for foster children, I took some notes. Here are the most salient points:

1. Reach out to DCFS for post-adoption help. DCFS has a vested interest in seeing adopted foster children succeed in their adoption. DCFS has a team of post-adoption professionals who may be able to provide services or referrals. The sooner you request help, the more likely that help will be successful. Of course, use your best judgment. DCFS cannot co-parent with you, but they can often provide helpful assistance.

2. About adoption subsidy, feel free to gather evidence and advocate to DCFS for an appropriate adoption subsidy for the soon-to-be-adopted child. For example, you might request medical records and opinions about the child's conditions (i.e., likely fetal exposure due to birth mother's history of substance abuse) and the mental health or medical needs that child will likely have as he or she grows and matures.

3. As the child grows (i.e., enters his or her teenage years), the child's needs may change. If you feel the adoption subsidy is inadequate, reach out to DCFS and submit an application for an increase in the subsidy amount. Of course, it helps to have evidence to justify your request. Such evidence may include mental health records, school records, etc.

4. Generally, it is easier to get a foster child approved for disability-related services such as SSI or DSPD than to get those services after the adoption is done. Inquire into these programs early on--do not delay! In the long run, it may be wise to delay the adoption a little while in order to get those disability services in place.

5. Children from foster care almost invariably have experienced trauma. This trauma can become manifest in different ways as the child grows. Continue learning about trauma and parenting skills that can help you change and grow as your child does the same.

6. Guardianships are becoming more common as sometimes DCFS lacks evidence to support terminating the birth parents' rights. But, down the road, after the child reaches age 18, an adult adoption can solidify the parent-child relationship you have. After the child is 18 years old, we do not need the birth parents' consent to an adult adoption. So, as guardianships become more common, adult adoptions are also becoming more common.

When families understand the systems, plan early, and seek support proactively, children are far more likely to experience the safety, stability, and healing they need. Help is available. As the Good Lord taught, "Ask and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you." (St. Matthew 7:7)